In the journey of life, it is inevitable that losses are experienced along the way. Not just the loss of a match, failing at the final exams, loss of job, but also loss of life. People pass away, not necessarily only when they are old, but maybe due to an accident or unexpected illness. That being said, death may even happen to someone close to you regardless of what age you are.
When someone close to your heart passes on, an emotion surfaces. This emotion is called grief. It is a multi-faceted response as in there are physical, cognitive, behavioural, cultural and even spiritual facets etc.
There are 5 common stages associated with grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance. Most people may go through all these stages, but some may vacillate back and forth between some stages, while some may even skip some, depending on the level of intimacy or closeness.
If you’re grieving or know that someone is grieving or a loss, you can use the following ways to help yourself and others:
- Clock – There really is no fixed period to indicate that grief is over. Give yourself time to accept the loss and your feelings. Give your grieving friend that time too and give your utmost support.
- Company – Do not isolate yourself and wallow in self-pity. Make sure your routine doesn’t get disrupted as much as possible. Continue your outings with friends and family. Likewise, be mindful when you keep the grieving friend company. Rally others to make a network especially in this time of need.
- Care – Continue with your self-care activities like favourite hobby. Make sure you sleep and eat well. As for your grieving friend, you may wish to rally around with others
At the end of day, before you even find yourself having regrets of not loving someone more or cherishing that friend more when they were alive, make sure you always spend quality time with them, be it your best friends and family members. Create happy memories as much as possible in the form of experiences, photos or videos. These are what keep the memory alive when life is no longer around.
Grief can be the garden of compassion. If you keep your heart open through everything, our pain can become your greatest ally in your life’s search for love and wisdom.
© LOOMI Group 2018
This article is first published on loomigroup.com
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